A Journey
by Honey70635
Summary: Takes place in 4.21! Literati! Jess thinks about his stations he went through in his life. Happy end? Read it and you'll know it! [RoryJess]


**So, this is my fanfic. It took me very long to write this. I wanted something new and so this fanfic came up into my mind. It's a journey, I guess. It's Jess sitting in his car in front of Yale and thinking about his life with Rory. This takes place in 4.21. He thinks about all his stations he went through. There is also a song in this fic. Yes, I know it's very weird. So, the song text is in italic letters, the dialogue is bold-type and Jess' thoughts are written the normal way. So, I hope it's not too confusing to read!**

**And please give me reviews! Tell me everything you think about this story. I thought about writing the same thing from Rory's POV. Tell me if you like the idea!**

**So, enough of talking! Enjoy reading this story! And the song is "Cold and empty" by Kid Rock ( Yes it sounds weird, I know!) And I used the original dialogue of the episodes for my story.**

**And don't forget the reviews lol! 'Cause reviews make happy, you know!**

_Maybe I've been on the road too long_

_Living my life through these songs_

_I guess loving a music man_

_Really wasn't in your plans_

_Does it matter if I'm sorry again?_

So, here I am. I am here. In Yale. And I want to see her. I've to talk to her. I've to tell her what happened, I've to explain it to her. She has to know that it was not what I wanted. It was not the way I wanted it to be. She needs to know that I'm sorry. Sorry for everything that happened...

**°°° Flashback °°°**

A_nd why should I appologoize_

_You knew all along this was my life_

_You know all my ins and outs _

_All of my fears and doubts_

It was Sookies wedding day. It was the day I came back after Luke had send me home. Back to New York. I was standing beside the park and you were talking to you Dad. Then he left and you turned around and looked at me. Slowly you came to me.

**RORY: What are you doing here? **

**JESS: Hello to you, too. **

It was great to see you again. Your hair was shimmering in the sun and your eyes were sparkling in their bluest blue when you saw me.

**RORY: Is everything okay? **

**JESS: You look nice. **

You really did. The colour of your dress fitted your skin, that looked like porcelain, very well.

**RORY: Thank you. What are you doing here? **

**JESS: I moved back.**

_It's the life I love_

_But it's you I can't live without _

**RORY: What? **

**JESS: I moved back. **

**RORY: But – what – why? **

Because of you. You made me come back.. To you.

**JESS: Just wanted to. **

You took a step forward, wrapped your arms around me and kissed me. Your smooth lips hit mine and I had so many butterflies in my belly. My dream had come true. It was what I wanted since I've been in Stars Hollow. You.

_This whole world seems cold and empty_

_Someone please turn on the lights_

Suddenly ypu stopped and turned away from me. I could understand it. It was because of him. I could understand it, but I really wanted you. I wanted to keep on kissing you forever. I wanted it like I've never wanted anything.

**RORY: Oh my God! Oh my God! **

**JESS: Rory. **

_Lord, if there's an angel you could send me_

**RORY: Don't say a word! **

_I could use one here tonight_

**JESS: Okay. **

**RORY: I have to go. **

Then you ran away to the other guests of the wedding. But you turned around again.

**RORY: Oh, welcome home! **

The following months were great. And the greatest moment ever, was Dean breaking up with you. I'm sorry that I'm that mean, but it was. It was a great moment for our relationship. And yeah, he was right. I fell in love with you the moment I saw you the first time. Our time together has been fantastic. I've been as lucky as I've never been. And you've been happy. Until I broke your heart into thousands of pieces. I never told you my Dad was there. He was the reason I left you. I know he shouldn't have been the reason 'cause I didn't know him, but now I do and that's why he was the reason for me. He was the reason for me to leave you. I wanted to get to know him, meet his family and give him a chance to get to know his son.

_Now where am i supposed to go?_

_My only home was in your soul_

_I know that I can't stay here_

_And drown in a pool of tears_

_Should I pack my pride and face this life along_

You were on your way to school and I've been on my way to...yeah I've been on my way to Jimmy.

**RORY: Hey. **

You came to the back of the bus and sat down next to me.

**JESS: Hey. **

**RORY: Can I sit? **

**JESS: Uh, sure, sit. I thought you took an earlier bus.**

'Cause I didn't want to meet you. I wanted to disappear without seeing you again. To make this easier. For me. For you. For us.

**RORY: My first class got canceled today. **

**JESS: Oh. So what's been going on? **

**RORY: Nothing much. Fran died. **

**JESS: I heard. **

**RORY: I went to her funeral yesterday. **

**JESS: Luke went, too. **

**RORY: I saw him there. **

**JESS: Yeah? **

Oh men! I didn't want to talk to you about all this town-stuff. What I really wanted was to tell you what I wanted to do. Where I wanted to go. But I couldn't. I've been too cowardly to tell you.

**RORY: He was in the back. **

**JESS: I can't go to the prom. I couldn't get tickets.**

I was really sorry. I really wanted to go there with you. To see you in your fabulous dress, at the end of your last high school year. But I couldn't.

**RORY: Oh. **

**JESS: Sorry. **

**The bus stopped **

**RORY: This is my stop. **

**JESS: Okay. **

So, you left me. Or better: I left you. I stayed in the bus. I wanted to go out but I couldn't and I've not been able to explain it to you. I went away from you. I've let you alone. I shouldn't have done it.

**RORY: So, you'll call me? **

**JESS: Yeah, I'll call you. **

And I did. But I wasn't able to say a word.

_This whole world seems cold and empty_

_Someone please turn on the lights_

_Lord, if there's an angel you could send me_

_I could use one here tonight_

It was that day I was sitting in Weston's. Then you walked in.

**RORY: Hi, I'd like a large coffee and a cherry Danish, please. **

You got your coffe and turned around. You turned around and saw me and I saw you. You stared into my eyes. I was surprised to see you. I've not been prepared. So I had to leave. I didn't know what to tell you so I just left. I left like I always leave when I can't handle a situation.

**JESS: I'm leaving. **

_Maybe it's me who's cold and empty_

_And in my darkness I cannot see the light_

_Please, God, there's an angel you could send me_

'_Cause there's one missing from my life_.

It was the day of the festival in Stars Hollow. At first I didn't want to go there. But then I decided to go. I don't know why. I just wanted to be a bit on my own, I guess.

There you were. Standing in the middle of the road. Then you turned around and glanced at me.

**RORY: I get to leave first! **

You started running away but I've been ready for you. I didn't want you to go. I wanted you to let me talk to you.

**JESS: Rory, wait! Stop! **

I ran after you and ,boy, you've been running fast!

**RORY: No, you don't get to walk away! **

**JESS: Hold on! **

**RORY: My town! I leave! **

**JESS: I just wannawhere are you going? **

**RORY: None of your business! **

**JESS: We look like idiots. **

**RORY: I don't care! **

**JESS: Stop running! **

**RORY: Stop following! **

**JESS: Oh, come on! **

**RORY: Go away, I'm leaving! **

**JESS: Rory, stop! **

**RORY: Why? **

**JESS: Because I wanna talk to you. **

**RORY: About what? What do you want to talk to me about? **

**JESS: When did you learn to run like that? **

**RORY: You know, I have actually thought about this moment. A lot. What would Jess say to me I ever saw him again? I mean, he just took off, no note, no call, nothing, how could he explain that? And then a year goes by. No word, nothing, so he couldn't possibly have a good excuse for that, right? I have imagined hundreds of different scenarios with a hundred different great last parting lines, and I have to tell you that I am actually very curious to see which way this is going to go. **

Yeah, you've been right. With everything you said. I've been cowardly. And you didn't deserve me. But I knew that already. I hated myself for that. For leaving you alone. For breaking your heart.

**JESS: Could we sit down? **

**RORY: No. You wanted to talk, so talk. What do you have to say to me? **

Yes, I wanted to talk to you, but was this the right moment? I've also been thinking about this conversation. And I also had hundred of different things I wanted to tell you but what I said, was the most used but also the most difficult to tell.

**JESS: I love you. **

After this confession I wasn't able to stay. I had to go, because I didn't want to look into your eyes anymore, which looked at me unbelieving and cold. I just wanted you to know my real feelings for you.

**°°° End of Flashback °°°**

I've to go in there. I am here, so I have to take my chance.

Walks to the buliding

Oh God. Please be at home. I do have to talk to you. I could lose everything, but I have to try it!

The door to the bulding opens and Jess walks in.

**RORY: What are you doing here? **

**JESS: I need to talk to you.**

What the hell is HE doing here? I didn't come to see you here with him! Maybe I should go. Just go.

Yeah, that's great. You're back together with him and I go whereever I go. Great.

No, I won't go. Now I'm here and I really need to talk to you. I can't go without having talked to you, because...

_You are my heart you are my soul_

_Whereever you are that's where I go_

**DEAN: Jess... **

**JESS: I need to talk to you. **

Oh, come on Rory!

**DEAN: What's going on?**

Shut up, Dean, and go home to your wife!

**RORY: What are you doing here? **

**JESS: Rory, please. **

**DEAN: Rory? **

Please just go!

**RORY: to Dean Go go home. **

Yes, go!

**DEAN: No. **

**RORY: Yes, go. You should go. Dean leaves. **

Thanks God, he left!

**RORY: Why won't you leave me alone? You won't go away. **

**JESS: Rory. **

What shall I tell you? I've already told you I'd loved you. What shall I say now?

**RORY: What do you want? **

_You know my ins and outs_

_All of my fears and doubts_

**JESS: I don't know. I just wanted to see you, talk to you. I just... **

**RORY: What? **

**JESS: Come with me. **

I can't be without you! Please Rory!

**RORY: What? **

**JESS: Come with me. **

_It's the life I love_

_But it's you I can't live without_

**RORY: Where? **

**JESS: I don't know...away!**

With me. Just you and me. Together.

**RORY: Are you crazy? **

**JESS: Probably. Do it. Come with me. Don't think about it. **

**RORY: I can't do that. opens the door and walks into her room **

**JESS: You don't think you can do it but you can. You can do whatever you want.**

_It's the life I love_

_But it's you I can't live without_

**RORY: It's not what I want. **

**JESS: It is. I know you. **

**RORY: You don't know me! **

**JESS: Look, we'll go to New York. We'll work, we'll live together, we'll be together. It's what I want. It's what you want, too. **

**RORY: No! **

**JESS: I want to be with you, but not here. Not this place, not Stars Hollow. We have to start new. **

And that's what I want! Together with you. And your heart wants that, too, but you don't listen to your heart! Please, Rory! I need you so much!

_Well, I found love_

**RORY: There's nothing to start! **

**JESS: You're packed. Your stuff is all in boxes. It's perfect. You're ready. And I'm ready. I'm ready for this. You can count on me now. I know you couldn't count on me before, but you can now. You can.**

_Well, I found love. _

**RORY: No! **

**JESS: Look, you know we're supposed to be together. I knew it the first time I saw you two years ago, and you know it, too. I know you do. **

**RORY: No, no, no, no, no! **

**JESS: Don't say "no" just to make me stop talking or make me go away. Only say "no" if you really don't want to be with me. **

_But it's you I can't live without..._

**The END**


End file.
